UPDATE: FORT LEWIS STANDOFF RESOLVED; BARNABY THE BEAR STILL AT LARGE

FORT LEWIS (Horizon News) — The tense standoff at Fort Lewis Zoological Gardens has come to an end, after a foggy night filled with explosions, mayhem and escaping animals. Salish-Shidhe ground troops completed their withdrawal this morning, while UCAS troops struggled to recapture a number of paranormal animals who escaped into the wild through large, mysterious holes in the facility’s walls that appeared during what was an abnormally foggy night.

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UPDATE: SEVERAL EXPLOSIONS HEARD WITHIN FORT LEWIS ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS

FORT LEWIS (Horizon News) — A series of explosions, followed by sounds of growls, shrieks and howls have sounded from within Fort Lewis Zoological Garden Research Facility, late this evening.  This, after an intense three-week standoff over the fate of a donated bear named “Barnaby”. The UCAS Army, Salish-Shidhe ground troops, and Bear Doctor Protesters all appear to be caught off guard, with each group preventing the others from entering the building.

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TENSE FT LEWIS STANDOFF OVER CAPTIVE BEAR ENTERS SECOND WEEK

FORT LEWIS, UCAS — A tense three-way standoff entered its second week on Tuesday, as protesters affiliated with the Seattle Bear Doctors Society refused to leave prohibited space just outside the Fort Lewis Zoological Gardens research center. Security forces from both the UCAS Pacific Army Command and the Salish-Shidhe Council have mobilized outside the Center, which operates as both a public zoo and research center for paranormal and augmented animals.

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Racism and Defecation

Warning: This is a half-baked thought process that uses shit as a crass metaphor for racism, so if you don’t want to hear about one or the other, then feel free to move on.

I keep being frustrated by the pretend world where you’re either racist, and the worst person in the world, or you’re totally not racist, and you’re okay. When someone is accused of saying something racist or insensitive, all sides act like they were just accused of murdering children, and we don’t get anywhere except in a big fight. Racism has become such an overloaded word, it isn’t very useful anymore. We all have lizard brains, and those lizard brains do stupid lizard things sometimes, and it’d be cool if we could just admit that sometimes, the way that we handle the fact that we’re all walking around with shit somewhere in our lower intestines.

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